SIBLINGS

They say that it matters in what order you were born. Just think about Usama Bin Laden, he was like baby number 12 in his family -- and look how he turned out. Here's a quick personality check based on sibling order:

Big sister - You are more mother than your mother. You don't have the same powers as her, but the same responsibility. You give your younger siblings the tyrant treatment because you think you have had less freedom than they have.

Big brother - You are a role model to all your younger siblings, they totally look up to you. You are also the most loved one by your parents and your self-confidence is better than the rest of the world's. If you have a younger sister you get to fuck all her friends.

The middle sibling - You are not as loved by your parents as either your older siblings or your younger siblings. This is someting that makes you bitter and you feel sorry for yourself until you die (and you're not putting any of your family members in your will).

Little sister - You might as well give up right away, your dad will never understand that you are old enough for boys, even when you're a grown-up. But you are probably a master manipulator and manage to get a life-time supply of pocket money from your parents, so you are happy anyway. Please, do try and liberate before they die.

Little brother - You will always be mommy's baby and she will take care of your laundry until she moves to the retirement home. Pity the one who marries you, because your mom will always love you more than the grandchildren.

The only child - You are an egoistic idiot who thinks life is fair. Sometimes you coquettishly say: "I've always wanted a brother or a sister", but deep down you know that you'd never be able to share wardrobe and christmas presents.

The one who is born 10 years after the other siblings - You are a wonderful mix between "the only child" and "little sister/brother". Fun.

Picture of my younger sister.

Translated text from my book "Tonårsbruden Lexikon".